Arts from Africa

There is only one thin’ you can expect from me; the unexpected. I’m the enigma remember!

So Innocent ‘Skizo’ Kurira wrote the Chronicle article ’bout the premature death of a career, my football career that is. In his article, he dwelt much on the injury itself & its implications but what you are ’bout to read gives you a little bit much ’bout how the dream was born. Ask any kid in the neighbourhood and they will tell you that television games, cellular phones and watchin’ DStv was luxury back then in the ’90s when we grew up. Besides goin’ to school, boys would gather around and make plastic balls so as to put money where our feet were. Yes, that’s what we did. Football was our everythin’ & we wouldn’t trade it for anythin’ in the world.

We were obsessed to the point of nicknamin’ ourselves after our icons. This was not the case with me though. Mboma was not self-coined. How I ended up bein’ Mboma is still light years from my comprehension ’cause I was a defender whilst the actual Cameroonian, Patrick Mboma was a potent striker. When I asked one of the first persons to call me Mboma, Charles Maphosa had my stamina to allude to as resemblin’ that of the striker in question. “Oh, so that’s how it came ’bout,” is how I responded to that. Mboma was I to be & still am though I will tell you of my other nickname, ‘eMKlass.’

My full name happens to be Mbulelo Senzo Wudo Mpofu. Too long right! I know the name startin’ with the ‘W’ gave you a hard time pronouncin’ but less worry, you are not alone. Some of you know me as eMKlass or Mboma but both origins of the nicknames will be laid bare today. A lot of peeps pronounce it however & it has got to a point where I’m like, ‘Okay, fine.’ My nickname ‘Mboma’ has football roots & its equal, ‘eMKlass’ is more musical & everythin’ in between. eMKlass is derived from my initials MM from Mbulelo Mpofu which means that I’m from the class of M. As enigmatic as I am, I had to stylise it so that it stands out ’cause, there is nowhere on this planet where you would find class spelt with a ‘K.’ I use this as my stage name since I’m an artist too.

So yeah back to my footy hey days. I learnt at Induba Primary School in the dusty streets of Iminyela where I played for the school team from the 3rd grade till I left. In 2006, I won a small trophy for bein’ the best footballer at school that year & that had me trialin’ at Bulawayo Angels Football Club (though there was nothin’ angelic ’bout it since, most of the times, we would be pummelled by other teams). I made the grade & started playin’ for the team but that was short-lived since, before year-end, growin’ interest from Iminyela Wanderers ensued.

As the youngest son of Mr K. W Mpofu & her darlin’ S. Mpofu nee Dube, I had the priviledge of stayin’ with my parents more than my siblings did. I came to fully know my brothers, Thamsanqa ‘Thaymes’ Mpofu & Vuyolwethu ‘The Top Sherrif’ Mpofu when I began my secondary education. The eldest, Thamsanqa shame the same passion & zeal for soccer as I did since he played for the Zimbabwe Saints Junior League team. The Sherrif was not that buff ’bout soccer though. In 2007, I traded Bulawayo Angels for Iminyela Wanderers for basically two reasons;
1. They were a better team than Byo Angels,
2. In the court of public opinion, bein’ seen as a traitor who played for a team not in his hood was insinuated. In football, you need skill, stamina & pace to make it but I didn’t have the pace so I faced stiff competition from a guy called Kwanele Masuku for the anchorman spot. My ball distribution was great since I could pull off some diagonal & through passes. My worst nightmare was headin’ the ball. That scared the hell out of me.

I won’t forget this other time in trainin’ where Samuel Masuku, our gaffer would not hesitate but stop play whenever I ducked when I was supposed to head the ball. What form of punishment should one be given for duckin’ the ball as a midfielder? Sam, as we used to call him gave me the worst punishment of all time. He would bump the ball right into my skull & that hurt so bad. To make matters worse, we trained with a Mitre ball & footy players will tell you how hard that ball is. After this, was I gonna head the ball again? You bet your leg I wouldn’t & I didn’t (lol). I was that kinda player.

For my troubles, I was given 20 laps to complete before trainin’ ended. I had to get this monkey off my back but how would I do it, I was ish scared of headin’ the ball & the opponents’ keeper’s ball distribution skills sucked as (as if to expose my frailties) they kicked the ball right into the middle of the park where there were two options; bein’ a victim or havin’ a vice grip on the match. This kind of ball distribution didn’t help my case at all. Back then, I was ignorant ’bout the relationship between headin’ the ball and dementia but damn it, I was so right to minimise my headin’ of the ball.

Besides winnin’ the trophy at school, beatin’ Mambas, our bogey team at their backyard felt like FIFA World Cup bliss. It was surreal & it ranks highly on my memorable moments since I assisted one third of the goals we scored. Keepin’ a clean sheet made it even more sweeter. 3 months down the line, one of our right backs, Tendai…eish, I have forgotten his surname got injured & we needed someone to cover in there asap. Since, usually Sam would do like-for-like substitution, especially with me bein’ replaced by Kwane and vice versa, we settled for me fillin’ that vacant role. As makeshift as this was, I excelled in that position & had to permanently be a right back. Oh boy, I was born for this.

Pace was not my thin’ but to avert danger from pacy wingers, I would use tact & my clean tacklin’ abilities always got us goin’.In 2009, I was so excited to be nailin’ a place where I would play week in, week out & that would develop my game immensely. OK, let’s fast-forward to the actual day when I saw my career go up in smoke. It was a friendly match pittin’ Injube High School takin’ on Lobengula High School. The match was well-balanced & there seemed to be nervy-dispositions from both teams (more of a caution-first typa footy so as not to make a mistake) didn’t take risks. I was amazed though ’cause Injube were rumoured to be a team that passes opponents to submission. This whole idea of me transitionin’ from a defensive midfielder to a fully-fledged right back would flower a confident Mboma who was ready to give it a go as soon as he made up his mind.

The ball was there for the takin’. Commentators usually call it, ‘anyone’s ball.’ That was the case. It would boil down to who needed it the most & who had the stamina. We both ran for the ball & ended up in a 50/50 situation. The result of the collision meant that I crashed & burnt as I had the worst landin’ of my life in that rough pitch Injube has. I heard somethin’ snap in my right wrist & (worshippin’ at the alter of bravado) got up & continued with the game as if nothin’ happened.Before long, my suspicions of somethin’ snappin’ in my right wrist were realised & the possibility of not playin’ footy again stared me right in my face. I quickly signalled for a substitution ’cause I could’nt bear the excruciatin’ pain & seein’ the obvious bulge in the wrist was enough for me to call it quits for that day. The bulge was the last straw. I know you picture some kind of swellin’ but it’s not it. This was like a bone was gonna tear right out of my skin. I could’nt even lift a spoon those days (OK, maybe I may be exaggeratin’ with the spoon but the pain was unbearable.) From my research, this kind of thin’ is called a hernia injury & requires medical surgery to fix. That was it, my parents could’nt afford the costly surgery & from then, playin’ football was scary to me.

By hook or by crook, I had to be involved in football though & God made me realise that I have exceptional literary skills. The death of a football-playin’ career was the birth of footy punditry & authorship. ‘Mboma’ had to somehow die for ‘eMKlass’ to be born. I’m an avid La Liga & PL fan and I happen to support FC Barcelona & Everton FC respectively. Recently, I have been readin’ The Manager by Barney Ronay & got interestin’ insights of the involvement of managers in the football game. It’s not like I don’t play footy at all but nowadays, I play social soccer with friends. I don’t go the competitive root. My blog has helped me reach footy players & admins alike. Bloggin’ ’bout football fulltime is both a dream & reality to me & havin’ you around subscribin’ to the blog makes it all worthwhile. Let me make somethin’ perfectly clear, this story of my injury is not for public sympathy but has everythin’ to do with scratchin’ under the surface & discoverin’ what God has fo your life.

Dreams may shutter but God always has a contingency plan before everythin’ happens. If plan A fails, there are 25 other letters in the alphabet. Try them & shine.If you have a story to tell, you know who has made profiles a must-read, engage with me!

So long speakers!